still

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

i am the parent of a two year old. being still is not in my vocabulary. yet, God is teaching me, that in stillness, he speaks. in quiet times of desperation, is when i usually listen. i am learning to listen when there is a ruckus surrounding me, as that is when i need His voice most to guide me.

as i look at the photo of me and james,holding whitneys hand, i remind myself, just as whitney is my child - i am a child of GOD! just as james and i hold her hands, God holds ours! we may squirm, we may pull away to run free. but when we walk in his stillness, with our hands in his, we are protected, we are guided, and conversations with him are at ease. being still to me does not mean no movement, it means waiting for the right movement-the move God provides, the bridge he decides to take us over.

light

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
Psalm 119:105

it is so difficult walking anywhere in the dark, much less a path. with rugged terrain below my feet, i have been walking in the dark. i have fallen, i have stumbled, i have used my hands to guide me only to get lost deeper in the woods. i am bruised and wounded from my falls. i am using this time in my life to use the light of the Lord to guide me back to safety. i am trusting in his plan for this journey with every small step taken. the noises in the woods startle me for i don't know what they are. but i know that i am in the safety of His steps for my life and the lives of my family. He has equipped me with the proper hiking gear for my protection, should i choose to use it. i will walk carefully and attentively, in his footsteps. I will pray for protection from the animals lurking in the woods waiting to attack.

trust

You are my hiding place

You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance

Whenever I am afraid

I will trust in You

I will trust in You

Let the weak say I am strong

In the strength of the Lord

You are my hiding place

You always fill my heart

With songs of deliverance

Whenever I am afraid

I will trust in You

I will trust in You

Let the weak say I am strong

in the strength of the Lord

I will trust in You

~ Selah

well, here i am. trusting. i am afraid, so i am trusting. i am longing for a plan, but i am trusting God will provide. i fully know the magnitude of what i am asking for, but i also know the magnitude of Him~ so i am trusting that He will show James and I the answer in what we are to do.

i am afraid because my life as i have known it for so many years, is shaken. i am comforted in Him. and i am thankful for a husband that has so much faith. thru james, i feel calm. as james and i begin this journey into the unknown, with no set plan, we are trusting. together, we are trusting God will point us in the direction He wants us to run.

our house goes on the market next week. and we don't know where we will be living once it sells. we have several thoughts, the biggest one is for james to go back to school, in kentucky. He only has one year to graduate. but once that happens, then what... we are trusting. Texas is home to me, but as i told james, if i had to choose, i would much rather have a happy husband and a home anywhere-than a house in texas. so i am trusting. i am leaning on His promises. I am sad to leave, but so excited to see what God has in store for this next chapter.

surrender

Holy Father, love me still. i have fallen from your will. i am broken hear my humble cry, my cry...take my life and make it yours Lord, fill me with your love. you are all I need-i surrender all of me. i have wandered for so long. tired and weary on my own. in your arms i know i'm home-oh God, my God. take my life and make it yours Lord fill me with your love. you are all I need. i surrender all of me. take my life and make it yours Lord. fill me with your love. you are all I need. i surrender all of me.
~selah~

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.Romans 12:1-2

i woke up with this song in my mind this morning. it has been a source of strength for me today. i finally feel refreshed. thank you Lord for your healing hand on my life. thank you for your abundant love. thank you for teaching me how to love during trial with Your grace and mercy.

growth

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom... and whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God...

Colossians 3:15-17

today. i need this peace, our family is strong, our roots are week. we are working on deepening our roots and laying a stronger foundation for growth. one day at a time. on action at a time. one feeling at a time. james and i are teaching each other. loving one another. and holding up one another during this trial. i am thankful for forgiveness. i am thankful for Christ to follow. i am thankful for the peace of God. my faith is strong yet my mind is weak and with out those things, i would just be. we are replanting. we are replacing. we are renewing. i pray for our roots to be planted in stable fertile soil. i pray for growth, when it is right. thanks be to God for the ability to grow with Him!

strength

strength. it comes in so many shapes and sizes. mine feels little today. its ironic how something so bold and beautiful, like strength, can morph into the feeling of tiny. i know my strength is there, i know it is lurking in the shadows of my weaknesses waiting for the perfect time to step into the spotlight. i just pray that was today...



O Lord, my strength and my fortress, my refuge in time of distress. Jeremiah 16:19

i love my husband, i love the fact we have an unbelievable family, i love that together we have made this.

that is a source for my strength today, no matter what size it shows up as.