My GIRLS

Psalm 5
Lord, listen to my words. Understand my sadness. Listen to my cry for help, my King, and my God, because I pray to you. Lord, every morning you hear my voice. Every morning I tell you what I need, and I wait for your answer. You are not a God who is pleased with the wicked, you do not live with those who do evil. Those people who make fun of you cannot stand before you. You hate all those who do evil. You destroy liars, the Lord hates those who kill and trick others. Because of your great love, I can come into your Temple. Because I fear and respect you, I can worship in your holy Temple. Lord, since I have many enemies, show me the right thing to do. Show me clearly how you want me to live. My enemies' mouths do not tell the truth; in their hearts they want to destroy others. Their throats are like open graves they use their tongues for telling lies. God declare them guilty! Let them fall into their own traps. Send them away because their sins are many; they have turned against you. But let everyone who trusts you be happy; let them sing glad songs forever. Protect those who love you and who are happy because of you. Lord, you bless those who do what is right; and you protect them like a soldier's shield.

What a refreshing reminder! (Thanks to my dear friend Natalie)

What he wants for us, and what WE want for us...well, sometimes they don't really match. But all in all, in the end, what HE wants for us will make us SO much happier! it is so hard to see that when you are in the midst of the consequences of our ME actions....know what i am saying? If we stick with the HE plan, the ME plan seems so silly!

Its like building a new house...and you think the one you are building is amazing. You can fold it and color on it, then HE offers for you to come to the house HE has built for you- with radiant flooring, and a self-cleaning kitchen...HIS house that he has built for you is AMAZING! Yours was loads of fun but looking back you wonder why you are living in a cardboard cut-out, when you have a house waiting for you to move in...that doesn't get soggy in the rain. The thing is, you probably have a few cardboard messes to get straightened out before you can fully occupy HIS "move in ready" house.So HE helps you clean it up. HE gets out there with the rake, to clean up the mess of a house that you thought was a good idea, and HE helps you move the things in your life that HE knows mean so much to you. HE carefully boxes them up and carries them into the house that HE made for you. HE wants you to have the things you desire, the things you love, that's why HE packs them up for you. Who's to say how long they will stay in the house, but ANY time with the loved things is appreciated.

James and I worked really hard and played really hard for our cardboard box of a house. And YES we surely had fun, but NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST compared to the house HE has moved me into...YOU ARE MY LOVED THINGS, AND I AM SO GRATEFUL, GOD HAS BOXED YOU AND MOVED YOU WITH ME TO THE HOUSE HE HAS MADE FOR ME. My girls are one of my greatest blessing. We are fortunate to love each other, be honest with one another, and to know that we have each other no matter the distance between us! I AM BLESSED!

forgiveness

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:12-14

I wish that you could see me now
I wish that I could show you how
I'm not who I was

I used to be mad at you
a little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was.

I found my way around
to forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so


I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was

You were there, You were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was.


When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all I could do
To keep myself from blaming you


I reckon its a funny thing.
I figured out I could sing
Now I'm not who I was

I write about Love and such
maybe cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was.


I was thinking maybe I
Could let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name.

Hello


Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about


I wish that you could see me now
I wish that I could show you how
I'm not who I was.
-Brandon Heath

how amazing are these lyrics?!?...i recently forgave someone-for something big and hurtful. and i feel good...like i could have written this song. i felt so much anger from their actions and through Gods Grace, and His strength, i have been able to forgive them, really forgive, in my heart forgive. it is amazing! and to think, HE does this for us constantly! big. real big!

forgiveness. i have been forgiven, and now i really understand the depth of forgiveness. i have been blessed during my life to be surrounded by those whom care for others. i have never held anger, i haven't felt rage for another, until this past year. i felt it, i held it...and the devil thrived in my life with that anger. it felt right...but i knew in my heart it wasn't.

knowing i must be "Christ" like, and since i was formed in his image, i have tried to show the fruit of the spirit...that didn't work. it wasn't until i really gave it up. until i let God have it. until i really didn't want the devil to win my life. until the devils anger became Gods grace....that the Fruit of the Spirit was there. I didn't have to try. God gave me the ability to use these, and boy oh boy its like Christmas morning! i wanted desperately to show HIS love to the one that i was hurt by, i wanted desperately for it to be real and BIG. what was i thinking? HE IS REAL! HE IS BIG! HE IS REAL BIG! but it wasn't until HE was ready for me to learn and see the magnitude of forgiveness: the love it takes to love someone regardless of their actions, the joy it gives to show someone love for no reason, the peace it takes to bear their burdon, the patience in watching and waiting for answers, the goodness to see the blessing in what may have happened, the faithfulness to one another, the gentleness in your words and gentleness in your actions to handle the situation with grace and be Christ-like, and the self-control to willingly do all of the above.

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Galations 5:22-26

i heard "i'm not who i was" one morning, and it has played in my head for many many months. look what that one song sparked...God is Good, and He works in strange and amazing ways. PRAISE THE LORD!

Thank you Lord for using Brandon Heath to speak your will.AMEN!

Speak Peace

Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed," he said, "Peace! Be strong now; be strong." When he spoke to me I was strengthened, and said, "Speak my Lord since you have given me strength."

Daniel 10:19

Caught up in a place
I never thought I'd be
Fear and isolation
Have got a hold on me
I struggle with the silence
Waiting desperately
Will you
Would you

Speak Peace
Speak Peace
Speak Peace to me
I am weak
Oh, Jesus, speak
Speak Peace to me

I don't know how much longer
I can carry this pain
I need you more than ever
To get me through this thing
I'm past the point of breaking
It's more than I can take
Will you

Speak Peace
Speak Peace
Speak Peace to me
I am weak
Oh, Jesus, speak
Speak Peace to me

-Ginger Millerman-

it is funny how my life isn't what i expected it to be at this point. i would not change many aspects of mine, but i would change some of my actions in the past, those which have caused damage. as i type that, i realized how silly it sounds. i am who i am because of my experiences in my life, i am stronger and wiser because of those actions. so really, would i change them? probably not. i like who i have become, and changing those things, would alter my life lessons. however, the ones i would change would be the ones that were harmful to others. altering their life lessons should not have been up to me. changing their life in unknown ways, is not my desire. my desire is to do things to alter others lives in unknown ways - for the better.

this is just a random thought from this morning.... i don't know why or how the story of Daniel pertains to my past, but, i am sure God will reveal something amazing, as always!

i am encouraged by Daniel today. look at his story, it makes my feeling of weakness seem so small. i have not been asked to brave a lions den. i am not in fear for my life. i am weak and fearful for so many other "small" reasons, i am in a quandary about decisions and don't have peace regarding decisions i must make for the health of my child. this must be the tie from my thought above! this must be why the story of Daniel was on my heart this morning, to tie my thoughts about my past decisions to a lesson...light bulb!

my actions and decisions will directly affect my child and her health for a lifetime. "my desire is to do things to alter others lives in unknown ways - for the better". my fear-thus giving me lack of peace, is that i will listen to the wrong small voice, altering her health for the worse.

I am weak, oh Jesus. speak peace on these decisions! may Your calm and peaceful voice be the only voice we hear...may You protect this beautiful child you have given us. my Your peace take me over as we brave the lions in our lives, may you tame them like kittens, and reveal Yourself to us like the mighty thunder so we may hear Your desire for us. may Your voice and Your breath be our strength as we hold Your hand tight in this adventure you so graciously have blessed us with.

Please Be My Strength, dear Jesus, as Daniel so did, so will I!

Emily Kate

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3

perfect peace. i think of the four seasons spa. but in reality, perfect peace usually comes with times of trial not tranquility.

Emily Kate

today i am praying for baby Emily Black. sweet innocent baby Emily Kate. she is the image of perfect peace. she doesn't realize what is happening in her little four month new body, and the sorrow, confusion, and pain her mommy and daddy are more than likely going through. she has the unconditional love that God calls all of us to have. she is being tested and treated, all the while not angry about the pain, but craving to love her father and mother. that is all she wants. as His children, that is all God wants us to have...no anger, just love for Him and one another.

How great is the Love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called CHILDREN OF GOD, and that is what we are.

1 John 3:1

i pray that Emily, feel the calm healing hand of God on her. that Karen and Jeff, see the hand of God on Emily, and feel His comforting hand on them. I pray that God gives Karen understanding, and Jeff strength during this trial. i pray so hard for this. i pray for the doctors and nurses that God may open a door for their understanding and knowledge. that His healing will be THE healing. and the doctors will be open to receive and treat His way. I pray for the test results to be informative, and i pray for the answers to be what GOD has intended. I pray for those administering the test to be compassionate yet thorough. I pray for this entire family to be embraced in Gods Healing Arms and comforted in the trust they have in His plan. i pray for those surrounding the Black's to have the necessary words and actions. That their family be able to surround them, that their friends may prepare and pray. i pray the medical staff be compassionate and informative and the right people will be by them at the right time.

all these things and those i have not thought to write but i feel in my heart, i pray to my God, my Savior.

AMEN

aware

Even in the little things
That never seem too big to me
And the things that I thought
Didn’t matter much at all
As simple as my daily bread
To the strength I need to get out of bed
When I fly, when
I’m about to Fall
It’s you in me
That I fail to see
Make me aware, make me see
Everything I am is not all about me
Take my world, turn it around
So that the obvious can finally be found
Make me aware, make me aware
When my life is hanging from a thread
And I think about the things you said
In this moment seems so far away
Help me see the guarantees
That first brought me to believe
So I can make it through another day
Oh, it’s you in me
That helps me to breathe

Make me aware, make me see

Everything I am is not all about me
Take my world, turn it around
So that the obvious can finally be found
Make me aware
I have been missing so much
Not recognizing your touch
All acknowledging you’re the reason I’m even here
I have been missing so much
Not recognizing your touch
Make me aware, make me aware
Help me see,
Everything I am is not all about me
Take my world, turn it around
So that the obvious can finally be found
Make me aware, make me aware
~Salvador

For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. Romans 14:7

this is such a simple idea. why do i make it so difficult? i try to live for me, me, me...when all along, i am here for everyone but. i have been put on this earth to worship my great God and share His love to those around me. end of story. so why do i put so many things ahead of my Savior and His will for my life? do i think i am smarter than the God of the Universe? no. do i think i can do better than what he has planned? no. do i think my plan is The Plan? no. i know all of these things are not what God calls me to do, yet i do them anyway. thus, i must begin the journey of awareness. i must listen to the Spirit of the Lord guide His house (me). i must stop running the wrong way and turn to Him-so He can lead me.

i thank you Lord for my many chances, i thank you Lord for Your strength, i thank you Lord for enlightenment and your light in my once stained soul. i pray that being "aware" is another first step in the right direction. i pray that where i am led, others will see Your light within me. i pray that Your light may shine brighter than it ever has. i pray that my precious family will shine shine shine.

i pray.

i pray.

i pray.

~amen

grace

..."I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity." Jonah 4:2

and we are called to walk in the likeness of HIM? what a challenge. thank you Lord for your mercy! i will never be able to do this on my own. i will only be able to walk in the way God intended with the power of the Holy Spirit guiding me. i will not be perfect, as there has only been on person in history that has been, but i will try with all of my heart to lead my life in the likeness of Him. Praise the Lord for the map!

my desire is to be more like you. my hope rest in the knowledge and belief of your power. may you transform my heart into the likeness of yours with grace and compassion. may you provide me the ability to love endlessly and limitless. showing others Your love through me. make me your vessel. prepare me for your work. ~AMEN